GM Tips: Normalize emotions at the table
Despite overwhelming experience that emotions make games more compelling, too many GMs still treat them as a weird liability or distraction, something “unprofessional,” or even a sign of weakness. There’s a fear that letting vulnerability in will derail play. Never mind that tragedy is one of the greatest storytelling themes that has ever existed. But like if you don’t give a shit about the things involved, who cares if bad things happen to them?
So the reality is the opposite. Suppressing or ignoring emotions at the table comes at one hell of a cost. It can dampen story because there’s no room for it to become meaningful, stifle roleplay because your players don’t want to get too emotional and look stupid in front of their friends, create distance between players because there’s only a certain level of investment that’s given allowance, and even lead to burnout for both GMs and players because over time, this avoidance makes the game feel hollow, no matter how tight the mechanics or how compelling the story. I am personally considering bowing out of a game right now because even though it’s.. Fine.. it’s not nearly as good as my other games and i’m less invested in the game than having the day back to spend with my partner. I’ve been in this game for several months so this isn’t just some whim.
And while books and advice will happily tell you how to balance encounters or pace combat, far fewer resources teach GMs how to work with emotions at the table. It can feel awkward and risky and maybe even “out of scope” but being intentional with emotions doesn’t mean baring your soul or turning the game into group therapy - nobody fucking wants that - people just want to know it’ss not weird for them to feel things. It means recognizing, naming, and normalizing the emotional dimension of play because TTRPGs are inherently social and emotional experiences. Every choice connects us in our humanity. Emotions give us cues about what matters to our players and their characters. Ignoring them squanders opportunities for tension, catharsis, and connection.
So at this stage, you are hopefully thinking about how to bring this to bear at your table. Here are four things you can do:
1. Notice
Pay attention to the emotional currents at your table.
Players often telegraph feelings before they say anything out loud. Slumped posture, a sigh, a forced smile or silence after a joke... If a player is unusually quiet, distracted, or withdrawn, that’s worth noticing too.
Likewise, your players’ characters will signal emotional stakes: how they react to the world.. Which NPCs are they most drawn to? Is there wistful mention of family in quiet moments? These cues tell you where the story is landing.
As GM, your job isn’t to “fix” these emotions but to notice them and hold space for them. Giving space for feelings to have weight is how things end up feeling meaningful.
2. Name
Expand your vocabulary for feelings. There are these amazing feelings wheels, which are great for emotional intentionality generally but also great writers’ tools.
At the table, players often default to broad categories: “My character’s mad.” But a richer vocabulary creates richer play. What kind of mad? Are they frustrated, feeling provoked, exhausted and cranky, resentful?
When you mirror back more precise language, you silently invite players to have more depth to their characters. Naming emotions clearly can diffuse tension, deepen roleplay, and strengthen trust.
3. Need
Emotions are messengers. They point to needs, boundaries, or values.
At the table, fear might mean a player needs more reassurance. Frustration might mean they feel unheard. Excitement might mean they’ve found a hook they want to chase.
Instead of ignoring emotions, get curious. Ask: What does this feeling reveal about what matters here? If someone is withdrawing, a gentle check-in—“Hey, I noticed you’ve been quieter tonight. How are you feeling about where the game’s going?”—can open space without judgment.
Treat emotions as information, not obstacles.
4. Normalize
Model that emotions are welcome at your table.
This doesn’t mean oversharing or unloading on your players or trauma dumping whenever its your time to talk. It means showing that emotions - whether frustration, excitement, or uncertainty - belong in the room. Let yourself give a shit out loud, and weirdly, that’s often enough for most players. They just need to know they aren’t going to be seen as weird for daring to have a feeling that isn’t anger. So you need to actively create an environment where that’s true.
When you normalize emotional honesty, you make your table more resilient, more collaborative, and more fun. We say all the time, you’re allowed to feel your feelings - well, dude, this is what that actually means if that’s not just some platitude to you.
So I want to wrap here by saying that, for my money, the best GMs don’t dodge emotions: they notice them, name them, get curious about them, and normalize them. Emotions aren’t distracting noise at the table; they’re the signal that connects us to story, to character, and to each other.Trust emotions and start treating them as resources: you’ll build better stories around a healthier, more trusting table where everyone feels good about playing.
